Musings from a migraine

Earlier this year someone I know replied to one of my emails calling me an ableist, stating that suggesting healthier lifestyle choices like getting more sunshine and avoiding gluten was a form of privilege that I had as a healthy person.

It stung a bit, though I wish I could say it hadn't.

I love helping people find their healthiest state in whatever their current moment is.

My current moment: I'm sitting on a yoni steaming stool in my back yard atop a blend by Yes God Wellness because I'm home from work with a migraine that started yesterday morning and worsened this morning

I am not disabled by any means. But the inability to see patients today or do any real productive work is quite disrupting (to my patients' health and also to my livelihood). People deal with similar - and much worse - struggles daily. And often, we can't see their struggles.

The internal and invisible symptoms of things like migraines, chronic pain, or inflammatory diseases go unnoticed by those not experiencing them.

So to think that I'm just a healthy chiropractor living her healthiest life because I made the choice to do so is a little untrue. Actually, truth is not a spectrum - it's a yes or no - so I'll just switch that to say that's NOT true.

I choose the way I live because I know the consequences of not doing so. I could choose not to be so intentional about food, movement, mindset, daily practices, and my healthcare team, but I'd be choosing to deal with more of what I'm experiencing today, and that's not a choice I'm willing to make for myself or my family.

In a rather sobering realization, I concluded that in two months, my oldest son will be the same age that I was when I got my first migraine.

Flashback that I hope does not lead to censorship of my emails

I'd had a fairly severe head injury when I was 3 that resulted in a likely seizure, ambulance ride, life flight, 3-day hospitalization, and 6 months of anti-seizure medication. Because of this, my Family Medicine doctor recommended holding off on my booster shots when I went to kindergarten.

When nothing eventful had happened by second grade, I was recommended to get current on my immunizations. I did. And nothing happened. But a short while after the second round, I had my first standardized test. As an overly-studious second-grader, I was determined to get a perfect score (read: I was incredibly stressed). In the middle of my test, I lost about half of my visual field. I said nothing because I was terrified of my test getting disqualified.

After squirming in my seat for a while, my teacher came over to check on me. When I looked up and she saw my pale, sweaty face, she immediately sent me to the nurse's office. I remember the details so vividly. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I felt very ill and I was starting to see things I knew weren't there: shimmery star-like patterns blocked my vision rather than just a blank spot.

I reached the school office and must've looked terrible because without my saying anything, the secretary ushered me through to the nurse's room, which was up a short set of stairs. I threw up all over the steps. My just-turned-8 year-old self was mortified.

Countless tests, medications, poking, and prodding went on for the next several years. But it wasn't until I saw a chiropractor at age 15 (for low back pain that also included a year's worth of tests and more poking and prodding) that my migraines went away.

The migraines stopped for 5 full years before returning for about 3 years; then they stopped again when I went gluten- and dairy-free; but returned on-and-off for the past few years. I just went from Sept 2019 to Sept 2020 without a single migraine, but had a double migraine two Sundays ago - 75 minutes of convulsing and pain followed by a mild respite and then a second migraine started.

This is no walk in the park. In fact, it absolutely effing sucks. But at the same time, I am practicing what I've worked on since reversing autoimmunity: gratitude. Not gratitude for, just gratitude.

If I had never gotten migraines, I never would've become a chiropractor. I never would've questioned why some medicines and procedures work for some people but not for others. I never would've learned to tirelessly defend the people for whom status quo does not work, even if it meant losing friends and somehow having that same mission lead to people call me ableist (and some other names and accusations).

But I did, and so I do. And I am grateful.

I'm also really grateful for Dr. Smith adjusting me yesterday and today, Mary rescheduling all of my patients for the day, and the whole team at Essential Health. I got on an oxygen tank there yesterday and today, which helped, but I added a completely new thing today that I've never tried: IV saline.

I was in pretty bad shape and unrelenting pain that brought me to tears until about halfway through the first bag, and by the end of the second bag (1L total), I was able to open my eyes fully and move slowly without pain. This once again affirms my belief that saltwater can cure anything (a good cry, a good sweat, or a trip to the ocean seem to make most things better, right?!).

If I didn't ever have a migraine, I might not need this much support. But I did, and so I do. And once again, I'm grateful.

This was another long one: thank you for reading. Writing is cathartic for me, so I appreciate the outlet.

And like I've done before, I'll now share a few too many things that I've recently read.

They're doing that door-to-door thing in Mecklenburg County (Charlotte) - https://www.theepochtimes.com/mkt_breakingnews/north-carolina-door-to-door-vaccine-outreach-violating-zone-of-privacy-advocacy-group-says_3908816.html

And this is info that mRNA doesn't pass into breastmilk (small study, short follow-up, but promising) - https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2781679

And this isn't something to read, but if you're using air pods or bluetooth headphones or even regular wired headphones, I urge you to investigate the risks of turning your brain into an antenna. These are the air tube headphones I use (I've tried several; these are the best) - https://techwellness.com/products/anti-radiation-emf-protection-headphone-headset?variant=32376574738467



May your Tuesday be filled with robust health and clear intentions.

xox
Lindsay