Are you coddling yourself?
Hi, friend.
I've been reading a lot recently. It's normal for me to have multiple books started, and I'm usually reading at least three books, but it usually takes me a while to finish them. In the past six weeks, I've actually finished two books, and started a third. (I read Waking Up White and Outliers (which was one of those books I started in chiropractic college and just didn't get around to finishing because, Boards or something).)
I'm currently reading The Coddling of the American Mind and I've only just started it, but already am finding it very intriguing.
Here's a thought that I have that I'm currently working through (and because I promised that I'd stay in touch with you, I'm not waiting until this thought is completely fleshed out before sharing it with you and I'd love your thoughts!): we live in a world that is SOOO convenient, that it's actually made it harder for us to prepare for and recover from pregnancy.
Want food? Easy, it's in the fridge. Out of that food? Hop in your car, drive down the street, purchase the food, and bring it home. Wait. Don't bother. Get on Amazon and have it shipped directly to your house. It can be there later today. Want information? Google. Wait, don't bother typing: Siri.
See where I'm going? EVERYTHING is at the touch of a button, at the command of your voice, and within your reach AT ALL TIMES.
Everything, that is, except for the really hard shit (which includes bringing additional humans into the world).
Why can't preparing for birth just be an online class that I can binge watch? We get requests for the BIRTHFIT Prenatal Series to be offered online all the time. The thing is, an online course could give you information, but you won't get the interactive questions from participating in class with others, likely won't have both parents fully present for all of the content (which is crucial in having a support system throughout the process of labor, birth, and postpartum), and you won't meet other people in your community that can be part of your network.
Why can't postpartum recovery just be a six week online program that you complete in the comfort of your home with the few items you have and do at your leisure? Because you likely need hands-on manual therapy (including chiropractic and pelvic floor physical therapy), intentional rehabilitation with verbal, visual, and tactile cues from someone who's trained to know what to look for in movement, and a FREAKING COMMUNITY you can connect with and share your successes and failures with.
I know it's not convenient to get in your car twice per week to make it to the BIRTHFIT Prenatal Foundations training during your pregnancy. It's hard to make your schedule work with your partner so you can show up for four weekends to a BIRTHFIT Prenatal Series childbirth education course. It's super inconvenient to figure out getting your baby into and out of the car seat without waking them to come to the BIRTHFIT Postpartum Series and set aside time for YOU to heal. None of that is convenient. It's not easy. I admit it.
I'm not trying to make it hard for you, it's just that if you sit by yourself in your bubble and with all of your conveniences at your fingertips, you will feel alone, and that's not conducive to being prepared or for healing. You can't prepare for or recovery fully from birth on an island.
But consider this: if our life is so convenient that we can't make preparing for our child's birth and then honoring our own postpartum recovery a priority, then what kind of life are we living? Are we coddling (overprotecting) ourselves by relying on the convenience of our high-tech world and trying to apply that to our slow, intentional in-the-body, in-the-moment experiences that surround the Motherhood Transition?
Like I said, the thought's not finished yet. It's just forming. I'm trying to figure out how we can truly support all women and their partners through the Motherhood Transition (including those who truly do not have access to these things - not out of a factor of convenience, but due to hardship or circumstance) while simultaneously holding the standard of what these intentional practices look like. I don't think having 100% online content serves the highest good. I think in-person experiences that allow you to feel the presence, love, and support of other humans is where we truly make magic happen.
xox
Lindsay