The emotionally heavy celebratory day

I want to start off with a posture tip because I gave it to two separate patients today and I think lots of you will find it helpful. And my hope is that you find something helpful out of my newsletters.

Next time you get in your car, get yourself into a tall seated position: bring the top of the back of your head toward the roof of your car and then relax your shoulders and breathe fully into your diaphragm. Then, set your mirrors - all three of them - according to that posture. Don't let yourself touch your mirrors after that, which will help remind you of what your personally ideal seated posture is as you're driving.

Now for the more personal stuff:

Today is Elise's birthday.

If you're a newer subscriber and you don't know of Elise, she is one of my dearest friends who passed last fall. I re-read the newsletter I sent right after her passing and am glad I chose to write it because I don't remember writing that but I remember feeling what I described.

I started the day with a cupcake, which I'm fairly certain is the first time in my life I actually ate a cupcake for breakfast. My wonderful friends Amy and Erica and I decided we'd celebrate Elise with a Zoom coffee and cupcake date this morning. It was perfect.

In a beautifully synchronous way, my first patient of the day, a sweet 5 year old girl, noticed the dragonfly prism hanging above my desk and noted how pretty it was. That dragonfly was a gift from Amy to remember Elise by, so I don't think it was an accident that my attention was drawn to it first thing this morning.

I got my new therapy table in just as I was leaving the office - a table Erica recommended that I get.

The fact that connections to those two humans both showed up again today helped ease the pain of not being able to call and wish Elise a happiest 34th.

But the table is bulky and a bit heavy. Mary (my Front Office Manager) asked me twice as I was trying to maneuver it if I was okay because of my head (my friend Erika had arrived because she's helping with the new layout of the Postpartum Rehab course - yay! - so she helped as well). I told her I was, and I felt fine in the moment of lifting and moving it, but then a few minutes later, a headache set in.

I am a strong and incredibly capable woman. (I almost said young woman, but I just hit the half-way marker to 70 this week, so I think I'll start owning "woman" instead of "young woman." That feels right.) This concussion has caused me to re-examine that strength.

Right now I need the strength of patience that I've only ever experienced at the end of pregnancy or while waiting at the DMV. I am so ready to move like I freaking mean it rather than tip-toe through a workout. My body wants it, but my brain just isn't there yet. I'm definitely healing, but it's soooo slow going.

The symptoms that I've still been experiencing (now just shy of 4 weeks post-concussion) are fatigue, cognitive fatigue, and headaches after workouts or prolonged mask-wearing. The fatigue is self-explanatory. The cognitive fatigue is hard to describe if you've never experienced it, but my brain has reached points where it is just done thinking and needs a nap, even if my body isn't tired.

The headaches that I've experienced feel like my ponytail is too tight (even when my hair is down) and simultaneously like I have a hangover. I haven't tried pain-killers or any OTC meds for them because I appreciate the feedback my body is giving me.

But being grateful for feedback from my body is not synonymous with loving the information. I do not like being concussed. I am ready to fully heal. But because I truly mean that, then I need to continue to allow the healing process to happen. Reminding myself once again: slow is fast.

Thanks for reading and being on this journey with me. I'll continue to share here and will (eventually) return to social media after my workouts are normal and I'm asymptomatic.

To strength of patience. To Elise. To cupcakes for breakfast. And to you in whatever way you need today. Cheers.

xox
Lindsay