Really big wins and frustrating losses

Let's start with some wins:

Last week, the EPA banned the use of chlorpyrifos, which is an organophosphate agent. Organophosphates are used as pesticides and also chemical warfare.

Yep, the same compounds used on your strawberries also produced sarin gas. And they may be excreted in milk. Yikes. Chlorpyrifos was actually banned from household use in 2001, but is still used by field workers and worked its way into drinking water. Not an ideal situation, so banning this toxin is a HUGE WIN for the health of our country.

Speaking of toxins, this isn't specifically a "win" because there's still so much work to be done (according to the video - 50 years, and that's IF we stop spraying glyphosate - an ANTIBIOTIC - right now), but this video made a lot of really complex topics very digestible and I've shared it with friends and family who didn't previously understand my very long-winded explanations about food quality and why it matters.

Another win is that I just came across some more TBI studies (interestingly enough, I wasn't even looking for them!) and want to figure out a way to study my saliva. That study was shared by Thorne, and I just got a new supplement from them (arrived this morning) called Synaquell + that is hopefully going to continue to support my brain healing.

And that's where we come to the losses. Because as much as I'd love to relay to you how wonderful my head is and how I have no remaining symptoms of concussion, I've had some very real slap-in-the-face reminders to the contrary.

I emailed you the incredible news that I was able to run and only had a transient headache a few weeks ago, and I somehow refrained from jumping straight off the deep end into my regular intensity of workouts. I did those short sprints on a Saturday, then skipped Sunday and worked out Monday. I did a relatively moderate paced workout and did not workout again until that Friday.

I did some sprints around my house with Eldon, followed by some pushups and kettlebell swings. I worked out for a total of 4 minutes before having to stop because I got a MASSIVE headache that lasted for about 20 minutes. Granted, that's not too long to have a headache, but it was horribly painful and incredibly frustrating because I was really feeling positive about the direction I was heading.

I have been able to continue to workout at a moderate pace; I've even done a 20 minute workout. But on Saturday, we went to the beach and I wanted to incorporate swimming into my workout. I planned for 3 rounds of an approximate 100 yard ocean swim, 10 pushups, and 20 squats. I did two rounds and had to stop. The pain in my head (and ears) was dizzying and disorienting and I got nauseous and threw up in my mouth - grosssssss. I had to lay down for fear of passing out. I broke down in sobs into my beach towel and the pain didn't subside for about 30 minutes.

I think the hypoxia (lack of oxygen) from exertion while swimming is what took things over the edge this time, but I'm just basing that on the fact that my symptoms worsen with mask-wearing and improve with hyperbaric oxygen therapy.

It's not just my workouts that are affected. My typical ability to stick to a project or maintain focus for prolonged periods is diminished, leaving me feeling a good bit scattered, busy but not necessarily productive, and agitated.

I'm scheduled to see Dr. Dane this afternoon and hopefully get a more objective picture of what's happening in my brain right now, +3 months post-TBI. And I'm talking with Dr. Sierakowski about actually studying my spit.

I'm remaining grateful for the healing that's already happened and hoping to see more evidence of it continuing.

(P.S. Don't forget that Sunday is Mother's Day. For me, it is a reminder of how blessed I am to have an incredible and supportive mother (who is so supportive that she's actually reading my newsletter - love you, Cakes!) and how grateful I am for my two boys. I know that this day of intended celebration can bring painful reminders for many individuals. Regardless of what the day means for you, I ask that you take this note as a hug from someone who is a mother and who wishes to send you love.)

xox
Lindsay